


Faking it II - Hasta que la Muerte nos separe

by lalinearoja



Series: love me despite everything [2]
Category: Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, F/F, Lesbian Sex, hormonal/horny!maca, more jealousy and angst, polaroids and memories, pregnancy!zurena, pregnant!maca, the storyling i wanted for el oasis but didn't get, utter fucking filth... eventually, zule back to business
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:19:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29584338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalinearoja/pseuds/lalinearoja
Summary: While Macarena is battling demons from the past with the new life growing inside of her, Zulema deals with different experiences and falls back into old habits.Both of them try to adapt their new lifestyle to the challenges and burdens that come along the way. And just when they think they can finally settle down and look forward to their future together, the universe decides to kill their luck.
Relationships: Altagracia Guerrero/Zulema Zahir, Macarena Ferreiro & Estefanía "Rizos" Kabila, Macarena Ferreiro/Zulema Zahir, Saray Vargas & Zulema Zahir
Series: love me despite everything [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173533
Comments: 26
Kudos: 88





	1. prologue

_ I've tasted blood and it is sweet  
I've had the rug pulled beneath my feet  
I've trusted lies and trusted men  
Broke down and put myself back together again _

_ \- Halsey 'Nightmare' _

* * *

_ ‘’Macarena? Macarena!’’  _

_ The voices were so loud that she felt like her eardrum was being ripped apart. But the truth was, she didn’t hear anything at all. Nothing else than the one sentence that was now stuck in her head. _

_ He is not coming.  _

_ He is not coming. _

_ He is not coming. _

_ Her white dress suddenly seemed to be ten times tighter than before, cutting off the oxygen she was so desperately trying to fill her lungs with. Mascara was wetting her cheeks and visualized the pain that broke her heart apart in the forms of black lines, crashing the subtle makeup she had been wearing. If she had looked into the mirror now, she would have been met with the sight of something you could see in every romantic drama where the husband leaves the wife at the altar. Or he pulls a Mr. John Big and doesn’t even show up. Just like Armando. _

_ In what felt like slow-motion, Macarena turned around. Away from the door that would have been the entrance to a new chapter of her life, away from her bridesmaids that looked absolutely helpless and couldn’t help her if they tried. Away from her family, away from Armando’s family. Away from everything that reminded her of the future she had been supposed to start and was now crumbling into pieces.  _

_ She continued walking, out of the church, out of the place that had been supposed to change her life for the better. Out of the place in which she had hoped to find happiness again after suffering more pain for so long than any human being should have to. _

_ Suddenly the environment changed.  _

_ Macarena was now standing in the entrance hall of ‘La paz’, the hospital she had chosen to give birth in. But without her husband by her side. She’s alone. There were no patients, no nurses, nothing. Just her, alone, in a grand hall that seemed big enough to swallow her as a whole and wipe out her existence forever.  _

_ ‘’Hello?’’ Her weak voice called, but it sounded nothing like her. The soothing warm voice people usually compliment her for had been replaced by a croak that sounded like a voice owned by an old witch suffering a curse.  _

_ A split second later, she felt something warm making its way down her thigh, to her calf until she heard an impossibly loud ‘plink’ echoing through her head.  _

_ Inch after inch, Macarena bent her head downwards until she saw the red drop on the grey linoleum floor. Followed by another ‘plink’ and a red drop landed right next to the previous one. And another one. And another.  _

_ Her hands began to shake as the dropping turned into a stream and a sob got stuck in her throat. Pain built up in her stomach, increased continually until Macarena dropped to her knees, the sob turned into an inaudible scream and her hands got stuck in golden curls in a desperate attempt to hold onto something before her body would explode from the paralyzing pain.  _

  
  
  


With a loud gasp, a film of sweat covering her trembling body, and an incredibly fast pulse, Macarena shoots up straight in her bed. 

The hospital is gone, and so is the blood and the overwhelming torture. 

For the glimpse of a second, she could swear she’s dead. 

But hell doesn’t feel so cold and surely isn’t this dark.

It takes her eyes and confused mind a moment to get used to the environment, but eventually, she makes out the outlines of the furniture in the room she recognizes as her bedroom. There is the desk with her MacBook on it, the plant in the corner, her drawer, and finally the little nightstand with  _ ‘Pride & Prejudice _ ’ on it. Macarena slowly looks around while her body begins to calm down before looking down her body and pulling up her shirt to reveal pale skin beneath it. 

The sight of nothing but a flat stomach greets her and she allows herself to exhale deeply. Her little worm is still safe, growing, and flourishing in its appropriate pace. 

She lays back in bed and runs a hand through her curls. It was just a nightmare. Just her brain processing the events of the past and her fears reliving the previous miscarriage all over again. 

Macarena stares at the ceiling above her, trying to manifest positive thoughts as she gently caresses the skin of her lower abdomen. It will be okay. History won’t repeat itself. 

‘’Please promise to stay with me. I don’t think I would survive losing you.’’ She whispers into the darkness. ‘’I promise I’ll keep you safe.’’

Macarena sighs.

One month in, eight more to go. 

  
  



	2. the one with the hormones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome back earlier than expected!  
> i decided to simply post a new chapter whenever it is ready, so you might be waiting a little longer between updates but it is at least something :)

Macarena closes the door behind her, lets the keys fall into its basket on the dresser to her right, and hangs her coat onto the hook to her left. 

‘’I’m back!’’ She calls on her way to the kitchen, stopping halfway when she hears Zulema’s voice from the living room. 

‘’Okay!’’ 

Macarena frowns. Zulema has been acting weird ever since she had come back. Not that she could blame her; coming back to someone and find them giggling in a dark corner with their ex isn’t exactly a thing you would write down on your to-do list. But to be fair, it had been a misunderstanding, and slowly but surely, Macarena has had enough of Zulema’s passive-aggressiveness. 

‘’Are you not going to ask me how it was?’’ Macarena joins Zulema in the living room, sits down next to her more-or-less-girlfriend-slash-fiance-but-not-really, and stares into the void while Zulema’s eyes are still fixed on the book in her hands.

‘’No. I figured there was a reason you wanted to go alone. Otherwise, you would have asked me to join you.’’ Zulema replies absent-minded. 

Macarena chews her bottom lip. She does have a point. But after Zulema has been acting so weird around her the past few days she had no nerves to deal with her during her first medical visit and she tells her nothing less.

‘’Well, Zulema. I would have liked to have you there with me but you haven’t been yourself around me lately and I don’t have the nerves to deal with you in an important moment like this.’’ 

Macarena notices the way Zulema raises her head and slowly closes her book. The brunette sets it aside, now mirroring Maca’s position as she stares at the black tv screen when she replies. ‘’If you don’t want me with you in those important moments then remind me why I am here again?’’ 

Macarena turns her head the same moment Zulema does and their eyes finally meet. Emerald ones with a bitter, cold tone in them. Hazel ones filled with mistrust and doubt. Instead of answering Zulema, she asks her own question that has been burning on her tongue for around three weeks now. 

‘’Why are you not letting me in anymore, Zulema?’’ 

The brunette turns away her gaze and scoffs. There was no point in lying to Macarena, not in this situation anyways. When she had seen Armando and Maca together again, the walls Maca had dismantled brick by brick suddenly came back up again with all its power to protect Zulema from the outside. She had heard Macarena’s explanations, she  _ knew  _ that Macarena had only tried to protect herself. 

‘’You’re pregnant, Maca. I have to get used to the idea of being with you and a little toddler running around the apartment too. This is not exactly what I had in mind when I came back for you.’’ 

Macarena frowns, still looking at Zulema’s side profile. ‘’Do you think I planned on getting pregnant? Do you think this is the way I imagined my life?’’ 

‘’It’s not my fault you didn’t use protection.’’ 

Macarena huffs in disbelief. ‘’That’s what you think of me? Do you think I have nothing better to do than fuck the next best stranger in a club without being on the pill or using a condom? Tell you what, Zulema,’’ The blonde gets off the couch and gives the woman seated on it another look. ‘’We did use a condom. Apparently, it broke or whatever the fuck happened. I did not run around Madrid playing a prostitute. But it’s great to know you think so highly of me.’’ 

With anger bubbling up inside of her, Macarena decides it is best to leave the room and let it go rather than getting into yet another argument with Zulema tonight. The amount of stress she has already put her unborn child through had been more than enough. But for some reason, she had a bad gut feeling that this wouldn’t be the last time. 

Usually, Zulema would just let her go and do her thing. She would calm down sooner or later. However, she too is tired of the tension between the two of them. It’s nothing she would deal with forever. 

‘’Not everything revolves around you, Macarena. Did you ever, just for one second, consider what all of this did to  _ me? _ ’’ Zulema shoots back and follows the blonde who has slammed the door to the bedroom shut. 

‘’Of course, I have!’’ Maca hisses and throws a pillow at Zulema who catches it with a swift motion and exhales deeply through her nose, the movement causing her nostrils to widen in anger as she tilts her head. 

_ Did she just throw a pillow?!  _

‘’Well, it surely doesn’t seem like it.’’

‘’You  _ left  _ me with a fucking letter, Zulema!’’ Macarena yells and throws the second pillow with more force than before. Zulema catches this one as well but stays silent this time when it occurs to her that Macarena is right. She is the one to blame in this scenario. She is the one who fucked up. Again. 

Her old self wouldn’t have cared. She would have turned around and left without another word, but the new Zulema, the one that is madly in love with Macarena Ferreiro, wants to do better. This one knows what she has to do. 

Maca watches as Zulema tosses the pillow onto her bed and nods, more to herself than to Macarena. With slow steps, she approaches the other side of the room where a blonde mess is currently trying to hide the tears that are filling her eyes with a grimace. Zulema nods, towards Macarena this time, and wipes away the one tear that does roll down Maca’s cheek. 

‘’You’re right. I was an asshole. But you need to stop throwing pillows at me.’’ She mumbles less seriously than before and gains a one-sided smile from the woman in front of her. 

‘’Only if you ask me nicely.’’ 

‘’Will you please, with cherries on top, stop throwing pillows at me when you get mad?’’ Zulema asks, theatrically fluttering her lashes. 

At this point, Macarena is giggling. ‘’Okay, I’ll use my shoes instead.’’

Zulema playfully rolls her eyes and smiles to herself as she gets down onto one knee and sighs. For a brief moment, Macarena is confused and silently begs that this won’t be another marriage proposal. Her prayers are answered rather quickly when Zulema suddenly points her finger at Maca’s belly. 

‘’And you, young lady, you better stop making your mother so hormonal. She is starting to get on my nerves.’’ 

Macarena’s smile widens at the playful gesture and hums against Zulema’s lips after that one apologizingly cups her cheeks and leans in for a kiss. 

‘’How do you know it’s going to be a girl?’’ Maca asks when they part. 

‘’Gut feeling. Now come on, stop crying and let’s go eat. All this arguing and pillow fighting made me hungry.’’ 

* * *

Half an hour later the couple is sitting in Five Guys, Zulema with her Bacon Burger Menu while Macarena has two Veggie Sandwiches she occasionally dips into the Peanut Butter Milkshake in front of her. 

Zulema eyes the blonde across from her with an arched brow when Maca’s meal once again disappears into the sweet-salty drink and shakes her head once the blonde takes a huge bite of it. 

‘’You’re disgusting.’’ She states matter-of-factly and shoves another fry into her mouth while Macarena delightfully chews her extravaganza sandwich and grins. 

‘’So, tell me everything about your first medical visit. How was it?’’ Zulema eventually adds.

Macarena clears her mouth and signalizes for Zulema to wait for a second by holding out her pointer finger as she takes another large sip of her milkshake.

‘’Well, my doctor checked my health and medical history, including the one of my family, asked what I do for a living and made some urine and blood test to confirm the pregnancy. She proceeded with a conduct pelvic examination to rule out abnormalities of the cervix and check for cysts. Then she did a pap smear, measured my height and weight, and checked my blood pressure. Apparently it is normal to lose some weight in the beginning due to morning sickness. Then she told me about the usual concerns like bleedings and miscarriages and tried to take my fears. Bleeding after intercourse also seems to be common since the cervix is more prone to bleeding on contact. Then obviously your body begins to change. Clothes will become tighter with time, I might have concerns about being able to afford to have a baby and if I will be able to take care of it. In my current state, you’ll only notice an ever so slightly growing belly. It won’t be much just yet.’’ Macarena babbles as if she isn’t talking to someone who has experienced all of that before, but Zulema sits and watches the blonde while fighting the urge to grin too widely and fills her mouth with food instead as Macarena continues. 

‘’There are a lot of symptoms the first month. Nausea, frequent urination, food cravings and especially mood swings.’’ 

‘’Oh, I would have never guessed that.’’ Zulema grins and throws a small fry at Maca’s face.

That one chuckles and picks it up from the table to dip it into her Peanut Butter shake and eat it. ‘’Acne is also a possibility. But by the end of the month, my skin could also have this famous pregnancy glow, so we’ll see. My hair is gonna be less manageable as if I didn’t have enough trouble with this mane yet, and…’’ Macarena pauses, locks eyes with Zulema as she sucks the milkshake out of her straw and lets her tongue linger at the tip for just _that_ much longer. ‘’My boobs are going to become larger and more sensitive.’’

Zulema tilts her head to the side with a smirk. It has been a while since the two of them had slept with each other. Three months to be exact. After Zulema had come back, neither of them had felt like making the first move due to the constant tension and arguments between them. But everything was slowly starting to loosen up again and their sexual tension slowly but surely made its way back into their life. 

‘’Well, so far I haven’t been hit with any of these symptoms.’’ Macarena breaks the tension before she notices Zulema arching her brows. The brunette’s eyes dart down to the sandwich in Maca’s hands, over to the milkshake, and finally back to hazel eyes that squeeze together when Macarena gives her a grin. ‘’Okay, maybe the food cravings.’’ 

Zulema shakes her head at the blonde once more before she pays her attention back to her own food and a comfortable silence settles between the two women. They sit in silence enjoying their meal and just when Maca swallows her last peanut butter milkshake-soaked fry, she lets out a deep sigh and looks at Zulema. 

‘’Yes.’’ 

Zulema looks up from the table in confusion and questioningly turns around her hands while her arms part ever so slightly. ‘’Yes, what? Yes, you finally agree on your food being disgusting now that you’ve eaten up?’’ 

Macarena throws her head back and laughs with a shake of her head. She doesn’t give the brunette the answer just yet and waits until she has collected herself enough to get back a steady, and most importantly serious, voice before looking back at Zulema.

‘’Yes to marrying you.’’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sapphiccivantos on twitter and cariciasdoradas/sapphiccivantos on instagram, come say hi xx


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